That Moment of Frustration

When I was thinking up this blog after my doctor appointment earlier today, it was mostly sunshine and rainbows. Then the Boston Marathon bombing happened and massive frustration came pouring in.

The first frustration came from the event itself, but just like reasons to be angry, reasons to be frustrated multiply when given a chance. That frustration turned into a frustration about my social life (admittedly not great at the moment), frustration at having to turn down the Fulbright, and the somewhat troubling news from my doctor appointment today when I found that the tendon in the finger they repaired six days ago is sticking (not a horrible thing at this stage in the game but still frustrating). Finally, the frustration that I feel like crap while detoxing from my strong pain meds made one angry me.

So I went for a walk.

That was a good thing at first until the end when I was nearly dead. Now I'm frustrated about how out of shape I am. It's just not a good night.

The positive thing about all of this is that while I can't change what happened in Boston, I can change other things. I can improve my social life, something I plan on doing this week. I still think that turning down the Fulbright was my best move with my injury and I can still go to Europe and even move there on day if that's what I decide. I can improve my finger, since Dr. L thinks there is swelling in there I'll just add a few doses of ibuprofen to my day again. That's something I did after the last two surgeries, but not this one. 

On the withdrawal of my pain meds, I'm on my second full day without them so I've been told that I should feel better tomorrow or the next day. And finally, it'll be easy to get back into shape. In December, I wouldn't have been able to complete the nearly 1.7 mile walk I did tonight in anywhere near the 32 minutes I did it in. No, it's not jogging, but I'll get back to that.

And this quote from my friend's Facebook is the perfect somewhat ending to tonight's blog:
"Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there – fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge – they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around."
- Love Actually

So yes, tonight I will let myself sulk but I have positives that I will remember in the morning. After all, everyone needs a bad day every once in a while.