I thought about writing a post on Friday with a totally different theme and I probably should have because today, my feelings on being involved in sports isn't in the best place.
I truly love what I do and wouldn't give it up for anything but this weekend has been the test of tests when it comes to testing my devotion. On Friday I was on the high of highs. Yes, I was covering girls soccer and they lost but just being on the sidelines taking pictures and writing the story about them reminded me how much I love this.
But on Saturday morning, the first test came about. I met a racehorse in Kentucky last November that I instantly fell in love with. She was injured at the time but I've been following her progress closely since one of my good friends works with her. She was getting ready for a comeback and put in an awesome work a few weeks ago and I was hoping to see her run when I went back to KY in a few weeks. Apparently the sport gods have a great sense of humor since I woke up to a text saying Hayley had broke down. While my friend did tell me that she should survive, waiting for word that she would almost positively survive was an extremely long and unnerving experience. This follows on the heels of learning that two of my favorites died a few weeks back. If there's any test of how big a fan you are of horse racing, having multiple break downs/deaths is it.
Next was on the field today. Someone I consider a pretty good friend now that I've got to know her is on the team and when she went to take a shot, she collapsed due to a knee injury. Seeing not only an athlete in a team you've grown fond of but a friend hurt makes you rethink things, especially when you've already been tested once this weekend. Injuries happen, it's a fact of sports and something I've come to expect. But since I feel like I've lived with this team in and out every weekend, it's still tough to see them hurt, especially when they have had a good weekend so far. Test two complete and passed.
Test three reminded me of something I experienced almost exactly 10 and a half years ago when everyone in motorsports held their breath waiting for an update on Dale Earnhardt Sr. after a bad wreck. This time I hadn't actually seen the wreck live but had gotten tweets about a big IndyCar wreck followed by bad scenes from the Dan Wheldon car and finally news that he'd been taken to the hospital and was unconscious but his vitals were strong. I won't lie, as soon as the soccer game was over, I hurried and did my interviews then raced to the lab so I could watch the coverage.
Before the Indy 500 (where I had to do a series of Indy articles for my internship) I hadn't followed IndyCars closely but I knew who Wheldon was and seeing his interviews made me think I could take on the world, he just had that sort of energy. I knew when they were setting up a press conference it probably wasn't good news and when I saw the faces of drivers and crew after the drivers meeting I knew what was coming but didn't want to believe it, even when multiple reliable sources tweeted the news that hadn't been given officially. I'll admit that the second ABC officially announced it, I left the room and broke down. When I finally saw the crash for the first time (and multiple times since TV can never just show that stuff once) I couldn't believe it. That image will be seared in my head forever.
And to add insult to injury, off road racers Rick and Jeff Huseman died in a plane crash on way to CA from Vegas as well today. The motorsports world has had an extremely tough day that will be thought of for ages.
We know when these guys (and girls) step into the car every weekend, there's a chance they may not come out, but we also try to push that to the back of our minds each week and just not think about it. But it still hurts when the reality that this did happen hits. I remember the hellish week/month/season the motorsports community went through after Sr's death, and I'm really not looking forward to it in the next few weeks.
So to end this post, while the stuff that happened has drastically altered how I feel at this point in time, I feel it has made me stronger as a sports fan and a sports writer. If I can survive stuff like this and continue to write and love what I do, I don't think anything can take my desire away. But just in case the sports gods are listening... please don't test that. We've had our three bad things happen in sports (and motorsports got their three things out of the way) so please leave us alone. And to whatever higher power is out there, please keep all the drivers safe at Talladega, the motorsports world (and sports world in general) can't take any more.