Looking Back

Right before I did a major presentation for a class last night, I told Dr. Browning "I'd rather be doing debates right now" and she laughed and said "You know, you've changed a lot since last year." (For a little background, I took her media law class last year and at the end, we had to do two debates on media law, which, after the panic of the first one was over with turned out to be a lot of fun.) I've been reflecting a bit on how WT has changed me but until she made that comment, I hadn't realized just how much it has.

To be honest, when I came to WT last year, I was preoccupied with something else. I was in a long distance "relationship" and kind of hermitted myself up, only going to class, to the gym, and back to my room when I wasn't doing those two things. This went on for all of the first semester. I was actually working on studying abroad this year so I could be closer to him to really put effort into the relationship when it ended in January. While the break up tore me apart then, it's the best thing that could have happened to me because it wasn't really the best situation with way more give than take on my end (information I found out in KY at the beginning of the month about what happened a few weeks after with him and a friend just made me feel so much better about that). But anyways, back to the point. I joined the Prairie during the spring semester since my time was now wide open, although I didn't get too involved in anything. But I did make some beginning friendships that have blossomed this year.

I'll admit that over summer break, I REALLY didn't want to come back to WT. While I had made some decent friends, I pretty much hated the school/area and felt totally alone. If you talked to me about Texas over the summer, you probably heard how horrible this place was. And really, I still don't like the area too much but I love the school now.

When I got back from summer break, I pretty much threw myself into everything just to make the year go by faster. The first two weeks of school, I probably went to five group meetings of groups I wasn't already in. And I've stayed in all but one of those groups all semester. Between the groups and jumping head first into covering sports (where I've made more friends) I've become a whole lot more outgoing (something you have to be when you are interviewing people all the time). I also started spending a whole lot more time at school (and actually just got home about an hour ago from just chilling out there). Just by doing that, I've become a whole lot more outgoing and confident. Plus, by doing all of this stuff, I have found some stuff that I absolutely love (I honestly didn't think I would ever love something as much as I love writing about sports or taking pictures of sporting events, my job really isn't a job to me).

All of this has also changed my outlook on life. Instead of being afraid to do anything, I'm taking more chances and living more by the motto of "I'd rather have a life of 'oh wells' than a life of 'what ifs.'" I used to live thinking "Oh man, I really wish I wasn't single" and worrying about that but not taking chances to actually step out of my comfort zone to potentially not worry about that. And sure, I'd be good with not being single but at the same time, I don't really worry about it anymore. I've taken chances in that department and others and some haven't panned out but it's been something I'm glad I did in all instances so I don't/won't have any regrets. And of course, when I'm double guessing what I did, I go back to the old faithful "If it's meant to be, it'll happen".

So looking back at my progress in the year and a half I've been in small town America at WT, Dr. Browning was right, I have made major changes. And even though the first year was rough, I'm really glad I came back to WT and made the friends I did because I'm pretty sure some of them will be lifelong friends and the lessons I learn from them (and my teachers and experiences) will only help me as I move to whatever adventure awaits me in the coming years. I'm sure similar posts to this one will pop up as I look back on what I've learned from each one.